These Are A Few Of My Favourite Things

*insert Julie Andrews here* in this post I will tell you poor suckers what I like (can you tell I'm running out of blog post subjects?)

My husband:

This poor guy went out at 11 o'clock last night to get me cookie dough ice cream when they didn't have ot at one store he went to two others to find it even when I said don't worry about it I'll find something else. Goodness gracious he's amazing!

(speaking of that) Cookie Dough Ice Cream:

Whoever decided to put the amazingly delicious ice cream and godlyness of cookie dough together is me hero.

The colour orange:
I don't know why but the colour orange makes me so happy :) But it has to be the right orange (e.x.  or ) not an ugly orange
(e.x. )


Bananas:



Walmart (or at least the people of walmart):

Who doesn't love going to Walmart and having a good laugh?


My straightener:


Without it I'd probably be on the people of walmart website!

Morning sickness:


Morning sickness and I have a love hate relationship. I hate it; it loves me.

Luke Bryan:


Who doesn't love Luke Bryan? Just look at him!! He's sexy ;)

That's all for now check back for more of my random ramblings later.

Been A While

Hey ya'll feels like it's been ages since I've made a blog post. I've been unbelievably busy at work so I get home and drop. Still have morning sickness, still tired 24/7, still pregnant . . . with twins. I still don't think it has hit either Mike or myself yet. Probably when I'm pushing Baby B out of my hoohoo it will hit.

We still haven't told many people we're expecting. Only close family. It was SOO funny telling my mom. We gave her a frame that had the ultrasound picture in it labeled "baby a" and "baby b". She got the fact that it was an ultrasound but we had to point out that there were TWO babies. Then she was extactic. I didn't think she was going to react. I didn't think she was going to be as happy and excited as she is ... or it just hasn't hit her yet.

To tell Mike's parents we took a picture of me putting two buns in our oven and framed it. When we gave it to them his mother got it RIGHT away and way speechless but his father was a bit slow that night and had to have it explained to him. It was hilarious and both are thrilled for us!

I'm starting to get used to the idea of having a baby (don't push it on two yet). I like the fact that some little person is going to be depending on me... I think.

Anyway gotta go feed these two little gremlins!

Lauren, Mike, Bonnie and Clyde

Tornado Watch

Sitting in the basement waiting for our tornado watch to be lifted. Rain rain go away come again another day...

For please enjoy my food porn:

My Epiphany

No matter what we do we are going to be terrible moms! If we breastfeed our boobs will sag but if we formula feed we'll be depriving them of nutrients. If we co-sleep we'll smother them if we don't co-sleep we won't feel "as connected" to them. If spank them it's child abuse if we don't they aren't disaplined.  If we vaccinate they'll have autism if we don't they'll get sick. If we don't feed them organic food they'll grow an extra head.

We are all going to be terrible, horibble, no good, very bad, moms...

Names

We've picked names! Baby girl will be Bonnie Baby boy will be Clyde. Don't like them? DEAL WITH IT!

Crohn's Disease

Sorry I've been MIA the past couple days. I've been in the middle of a crohn's attack. If you don't know what crohn's disease is google it. I'm too tired to explain.

I was diagnosed with this devil of a disease when I was 19 and I still don't have a full grasp on how to manage it. When an attack hits it's like being punched in the stomach repeatedly. Basically you're out of comittion for a week or more. An attack can be caused by not wating the proper foods or stress. AHA! Stress! Not like I haven't had enough of that lately right?!

Anyway, still pregnant, still sick, still in shock. Hope ya'll are feeling better than I am!

Perinatologist's Should NOT Be Comedians

Of course, I get the funny one.

Yesterday, Mike and I went to see a perinatologist who specializes in mulitple baby pregnancies. We got there she asked us about how our pregnancy was going. Let me correct her - It's not our pregnancy it's mine. Mike does not have to deal with the all-day sickness, heartburn, fatique, swollen ankles, constant need to pee, constant want to poop (seeing that I haven't since god knows when), migraines etc. Next, she wanted to know about my family history so I spilled the beans and told her my mom has a twin sister who we have no idea if they are monozygotic (identical and yes I know I can use big words!) or dyzogotic (fraternal). Then, she tried to get a little history about Mike but not the easiest thing to do when he was adopted and knows absolutely nothig about his birth parents (and frankly doesn't want to know either).

Next, was the ultrasound and this is where she decided to become a comedian. So she puts the wand on my belly and say "Oh I see three babies" my thoughts "You have got to be shitting me" I say out loud "Are you sure?" She answers "I'm just joking there's only two babies." ...ha...ha...ha

REALLY?!?!?! Does the realize that is not funny?! So after about ten seconds I realize she was shitting me and that was not a very nice joke. After bringing Mike back from his coma-shock-like-state she told us that she's 80% sure baby b is a boy and baby b is a girl. That's perfect, one pregnancy, two babies, a boy and a girl p-e-r-f-e-c-t. We're d-o-n-e done! Mike will get his snip a week after babies are born if that's the case.

So all and all good appointment other than my humorous perinatologist!

Dear Telemarketer

I really do not care that you think I'm paying to much for my hydro bill nor do I understand how you know what I pay for my hydro bill. I do not care that you could save me 10% of my bill. You woke me up from a dead sleep at 7 o'clock this morning and I know you are not aware but I am pregnant with twins and value my sleep like a fat kid values a smartie. And when I say I am perfectly happy with my current hydro provider that does not give you the right to ask who my hydro provider is. Now that you have woken me up and talked to me for fifteen minutes I feel like I am going to upchuck my cookies all over my brand spanking new telephone my mother-in-law gave my husband and I as a present and I am sure she would not appriciate my cookies on her present. It may just be my pregnancy hormones but I find you very rude and I can not even understand a word you are saying behind your thick accent so please shut up and let me back to sleep.

Sincerely,
Lauren (very-emotional-hormone-raging-morning-sickness-stricken-pissed-off-pregnant-lady)

UGHHHH! I've already had a shitty morning. The stupid telephone rang at 7 freakin' o'clock this freakin' morning! Do these telemarketers not consider time zone and while it may be 9 o'clock where you are some of us are on holidays and trying to enjoy our sleep?! Anyway he got a wrath my pregnancy hormones. Hope ya'll had a better morning than I did!

Reactions

Here's my reaction when doc said "Wow I see two babies, congratulations it's twins!":
Out load:
Really?! Are you sure? You're positive? What do I do now?
In my head:
HOLY SHIT! YOU'RE F***ING KIDDING ME! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE JOKING THIS IS NOT A VERY NICE JOKE! DID MY MOTHER-IN-LAW PUT YOU UP TO THIS?! WHAT THE F*** AM i GOING TO DO?!
Mike's reaction:
...*pause*... go pale ...*pause*... go paler ...*pause*... HOLY F*** YOU'RE SHITTING ME! I gotta lay down ... HOLY F*** ... HOLY F*** ... HOLY F*** ... HOLY F***...

32 views...

... in the first half hour and even a follower I call that success! Woohoo

My First Post

Oooh! I feel powerful I have my very own blog! hehe.

Is this the part where I introduce myself? Well anyway it's my blog so I decide that's what I'm gonna do (don't ya'll just love my grammar already?)

I'm Lauren (scared-shitless-salt-and-vinegar-chipaholic-mama-to-be) and my hubby of two years Mike (also-scared-shitless-beer-drinking-country-boy-daddy-to-be) are first-time-parents-to-be of twins! We weren't exactly trying to get pregnant. I was on the pill and took it every-FREAKIN-day at 7 p.m. regardless. I could have been on my death bed and still took the pill. Did you know the pill is only 99% effective?! We do now.

Both Mike and myself were pretty surprise when we found out I'm pregnant... let alone with twins!

Please keep all hands, arms, legs and feet in the vehicle while it's in motion this is going to be a bumpy ride...